We had two grown cats at home, and Crash was about their size (or maybe even smaller), and they quickly put him in his place.  He grew up knowing that the cats were the bosses and should be feared and respected.  Many years later, when I was in grad school and brought my cat Kepler home with me at Christmas, Kep took full advantage of Crash’s fear of cats.  Crash was sleeping, minding his own business, and Kep marched right up to him and hissed at him.  Crash jumped up and ran away, and Kepler chased after him.  It was hilarious watching a 10-pound cat chase a 40-pound dog.

When he was little and wanted to lie down, all four legs would fly out from under him and he would crash – thus he got his name.  It also helped that he had puppy nails and long fur so if he went chasing a ball into the kitchen, he had no traction so he went skidding across the floor and crashed into the oven.

Border collies are herding dogs, and Crash always tried to herd anyone, whether it be one of the members of my family, our cats, any visitors…  If they were going somewhere, he was going to make sure they went in the right direction (according to him).  This little trait of his tended to make the cats pretty angry.  Or terrified.  My younger cat, Apollo, isn’t afraid of anything (vacuum, hair dryer, the outside, bigger cats, etc.), but when I took him home the last two Christmases, he was really afraid of Crash, who by that time was arthritic and deaf, as well as being scared of cats.  It was too funny watching Apollo creep around the house to stay away from Crash, who was completely harmless.

Crash was incredibly smart.  He loved to play fetch with his tennis ball, but my dad, with his herniated discs, didn’t want to bend down to get the ball, so Crash learned to put the ball in his hand after he retrieved it, rather than at his feet.  He sat and stayed and waited for permission before running out into the yard, even with the door wide open.  The one thing he couldn’t ever quite grasp was heeling.  I used to run in my neighborhood in Austin, and I took Crash with me on a leash.  He always wanted to pull ahead and sprint, and then he’d get completely out of breath and we had to stop so he’d stop wheezing and panting before we could keep going again.

Crash was a part of our family for more than half my life. He loved us, and we loved him.  He was a wonderful dog, and we’ll always miss him.

Baby Crash with his bright blue eyes

Older but not yet an adult – long legs and floppy ears!  You can see how he crashed to lie down in the second one – all four legs out from under him

One of the first pictures I took with an SLR (film) camera was of Crash in our front yard

iPhone photo of Crash in March, 2010

Crash and Dad on Christmas Day, 2010

This Christmas, I knew it would be the last time I saw Crash, so I took him out in the yard and took pictures.  I also snapped some while he was “helping” my mom in the kitchen

She was very curious and liked to go exploring by herself, while the other two kittens seemed to like to play together and didn’t really seem to care about anything else.  Since the adventurous kitten loved exploring so much, I started calling her Darwin.  One day I noticed she was sneezing and her eyes were all matted.  I took her to the vet and it turned out she had a respiratory infection but, other than that, she was perfectly healthy, and only weighed 0.15 pounds (!!).  She was tiny.  The vet was surprised at how sweet she was and how much she liked people because she marched right up to him as soon as he came in the room.  Most cats from the outside are afraid of people and will run from them.  I got antibiotics and eye drops for her.  Every morning before work and every night before bed I took her over to the stairs that led up to my apartment, put her on my lap, and gave her the meds.  She took the oral antibiotics like a champ but hated the eye drops.  She’d fight me and squeak her tiny meow but would eventually let me apply them.  Then she’d usually fall asleep in my lap.  Sometimes, if her mom was nearby, she wanted to go see her and jump on her and try to attack her tail.  She loved her mom.

I wanted so badly to bring her inside but I thought I should wait for her to reach six weeks, since she was still nursing and I didn’t want to take her away from her mom too early.  I made an appointment to have her checked out at the vet (I wanted to make sure she didn’t have anything that she could give to Kepler and Apollo, the two cats I already have.) for Saturday, July 9th.  Two weeks ago on Friday morning, July 8th as I was leaving my apartment to go to work, I found my little explorer in the parking lot.  She had been hit by a car.  And it crushed me.  I just needed one more day and then she would have been inside, where it’s safe, for the rest of her life.  The only thing that was damaged was her head; her body was perfectly fine, so I’m guessing she went quickly.  She was so sweet and soft and pretty and smart, and I don’t understand why it had to be her.

My neighbor Rich had been helping care for the mama cat and the kittens, and he was upset, too.  He and I buried Darwin under a tree, near our building – a tree she kept trying to climb, but she was too small.  I topped her grave with a bundle of the long grass that she loved to play in.  You shouldn’t ever have to bury something that’s only six weeks old.

I miss her.  I miss her soft fur; she was going to have long hair like Kepler.  I wanted to see her grow up.  She grew so much in the few weeks I knew her.  I wanted to see what color her eyes were going to be.  She and Apollo would have been best friends; they’d be constantly chasing each other around the apartment.  I miss her spotted little belly.  How incredibly small she was.  The way she’d fall asleep in an instant with her head lolling back and her mouth opening just enough to see her little tongue.  And when she slept, she slept hard; it was almost impossible to wake her.  She was adorable and everyone she met fell in love with her instantly.  She was a very special kitten.  I just thought we’d have more time together.

Most of the pictures and all of the video I took of her were with my iPhone.  Below and in the video are my favorites.

The first time I saw Darwin; she is the one nursing closest to her mom’s hind legs

The first time she came over to me and let me hold her

Her spotted belly

She fell asleep in my hand

My best friend Sara came to Houston and got to meet her.  These were taken when we came out to give Darwin her meds during Sara’s visit

She loved sunset.  It was so hot during the day that she’d usually nap until the sun started getting low in the sky; then she’d come out and chase bugs or her mom’s and siblings’ tails or just scamper around in the grass.

This was the first time she fell asleep in my lap

She slept in my lap a lot after that

Mama cat and the kittens moved to my neighbor Rich’s patio.  We made sure they had food and water so they decided to call it home

Mama cat

There were bunches of tall grass by the patio that Darwin (and the other kittens) loved to play in

This was the last picture I took of her.  She’s the one farthest to the left

Her grave under the tree with a bundle of tall grass topping it

I loved this little kitten